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The problem was…it wasn’t that easy to wipe Soo Yeon from his mind.  Every time that Ban Ryu closed his eyes, he saw her sweet face gazing up at him with her love for him shining from her eyes. 

And her heard her honeyed voice saying, “Ban Ryu, I love you!  I can’t live without you!”

Had the silly girl set out to prove herself right?  Starving herself to death when she’d been denied his love?

He sighed.  He didn’t know what to do about this ridiculous girl.  But he was certain that his presence in her house was making things worse.  Surely, if he were gone, eventually, she would forget about him.  Wouldn’t she?

But then he remembered that three months without him hadn’t cooled her ardor one bit.  Rather, her love for him seemed to have blossomed in his absence.  And she had faithfully nursed him back to health after he’d nearly gotten himself killed. 

And he had no idea how such a delicate blossom had stomached the horrifying wound which he’d received.  It would have repulsed most men.  He had caught sight of it a couple of times.  After it had been drained and cleansed.  But her mother had informed him that Soo Yeon had helped the doctor to drain his wound.  She’d cleaned it with her own hands.  And wrapped the bandages around it.  He could only picture the pus and blood that she must have fortified her stomach against in order to take proper care of him. 

He knew for a certainty that Soo Yeon had saved his life as he had saved her brother’s.  It was just one of a thousand reasons why he loved her so.

Ban Ryu would always love Soo Yeon.  But without her father’s blessing, he could never have her.  Especially now.  That noble man had sheltered him.  And provided him with everything he needed for nearly two weeks.  Lending him his daughter and his wife.  Their care had saved his life.  He was now indebted to them.

He knew that they would claim that they were simply repaying the debt incurred when he had saved Soo Ho’s life.  But truly such an action had been unthinking.  It had been a reflex.  He’d simply stepped between Soo Ho and certain death.  Ban Ryu hadn’t had time to consider the consequences.

But Lord Kim Seub had been under no such pressure when he’d invited his enemy into his home.  How he must have already hated Ban Ryu for dallying with his daughter in secret.  Then, to be forced by their king to welcome the rascal into his house.  How it must have galled him!  How it must aggravate him still!

Yet, he hadn’t just provided Ban Ryu with a safe place to convalesce.  Lord Kim Seub had allowed the very girl whom Ban Ryu had romanced against her father’s wishes to nurse him back to health.  The longsuffering lord hadn’t even resisted her maneuvers to sleep in the same room with him.  Rather, Lord Kim Seub had given everything he had to ensure that Ban Ryu would recover fully.  The best care.  The most excellent food.  Loving companions.  A sunlit bedroom. 

Ban Ryu had no complaints to make against the man.  Instead, he owed him a debt of gratitude.  And he wasn’t sure how to repay it.  Except for…

…leaving his beloved daughter alone.

The hardest thing that anyone could have asked of him.

––

He spent a fitful night sleeping.  And dreaming of his beautiful girl.  Knowing she slept a few feet away.  And that this was as close as he would ever get to sharing a bed with her. 

He lay awake for several hours staring up at the dark ceiling.  Her mother was still chaperoning them in the middle of the night.  But Ban Ryu had to laugh at her efforts.  The woman was a master at sleeping sitting up. 

So much for protection. 

He could have left his bed and joined Soo Yeon on the floor at any moment during that long night.  Or…better yet…she could have crawled into his comfortable bed with him.

But he would never so betray her father’s trust.  Or her mother’s.

So, instead, he lay cold…and alone…in his own bed.  As he yearned for the girl gently snoring a few feet away from him. 

Finally, he fell into a restless sleep.  And floated on dreams of that golden girl.  He dreamt that he’d married her, and she’d given him a daughter.  A lovely, little girl with her rosy cheeks and her great, guileless, obsidian eyes.  Like two gleaming ebony stones.  That child had her raven pigtails too.  And her delightful, tinkling laugh.  The one that opened his heart wide.

He was as defenseless against that child’s sweet face as he was against her mother’s.

He awoke to a great wave of sadness.  When he realized that the whole episode was merely a captivating dream with no root in reality.  But the greatest thing that he mourned was the loss of that beautiful, little life.  Of that stunning creature whom he and Soo Yeon had made together.  He wanted that tiny girl.  He longed to hold her in his arms again.  For real this time.  And to swing her high over his head.  Just so that he could hear that precious laughter of hers riding on the wings of the wind.  How he missed those innocent eyes!  And that winsome smile.

He longed for someone who didn’t even exist.  Except in his heart.

He blinked back tears as he opened his eyes for the second time that morning.

He had to get out of here.  Being this close to Soo Yeon and being unable to touch her, unable to reach for her, unable to love her, was destroying him.  His peace had fled in the morning light with the tiny girl from his dreams.

He cleared his throat and found it parched.  Her mother heard the noise and started.  Her wide, chocolate eyes opened, and she smiled at Ban Ryu.  And he discovered that she reminded him of Soo Yeon.  He hadn’t noticed before how much her daughter resembled her.  But Lady Bit Na was a perfect picture of the beauty that his precious Soo Yeon would be in twenty years.  Full of good humor and sweet compassion.

“Do you need a drink, Ban Ryu?” that kind woman queried softly.  Tossing a glance in her slumbering daughter’s direction.

“Mmm.”  He nodded.  “Thank you.”

She handed him a full glass of water.  “How about some breakfast too?  You must be famished.  I think it’s time to introduce some beef into your diet.”

And right here was another reason for him to love her.

He beamed up at the sweet woman.  And took her up on her generous offer.  Gladly receiving something besides rice porridge.