The practice room was completely silent as Zoro stood, violin propped under his chin. It seemed to be the only place he could find even a little bit of peace these days, but even the practice room was not without its noise. Today, that noise came in the form of his ears ringing as he stared at his music where it rested on the stand. He’d played this piece a hundred times, and yet it still wasn’t perfect. Something about it just still felt…off.
He lifted his bow again, readying himself to play. He counted the beat out, and on four, he began to play. The piece felt almost as if it were a part of his body now. His fingers knew their place without him even having to think about it, and the stroke of the bow, while less of a reflex, was still easily remembered.
There was still months to go until the concert where he’d inevitably play this piece with his orchestra, but the nerves still ate away at him. Standing in front of a crowd would not be new to him. In fact, he’d been playing in front of crowds of people since the age of eight, but he still worried that he would fumble over a note, or perhaps he’d forget where he was and stop playing altogether.
When he reached the end of the piece, the final note rang in his ears. It was a glorious sound, quite rewarding knowing he’d played the piece through almost perfectly. And yet, his hand still shook as he held in bow in place.
He heard a gentle clapping behind him, and he whirled around, instantly on edge. A young woman was standing in the doorway, her cello case set down at her feet.
“You’ll have that piece perfected by the time concert season rolls around.”
Anxiety roiled in his stomach as he stood there, uncertain. He did not recognize her from his orchestra class, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in it. He hardly knew any of the freshmen, and even the sophomores were all a bit of a mystery to him. He was not one to mingle, especially not after class was over.
He set out to pack up his instrument.
“Thanks. Sorry. I didn’t realize this room was taken.”
“It wasn’t…” she trailed off as he approached her.
He slipped between her and the doorframe, bowing his head slightly out of pure reflex. “Good day.”
He felt her curious eyes follow him as he headed down the hall, but he couldn’t dwell on it. He shuddered uncomfortably at the odd feeling that passed through him. It was on days like this that he regretted moving so far away from home. Despite the fact that he’d spent the better part of the past year in California, it was still entirely foreign to him, and nothing about the campus reminded him of home. Not having the comfort of his home to fall back on made navigating life a whole lot harder.
Jupiter let herself watch the man until he turned the corner, and then she kicked the door shut, allowing herself to accomplish her original task: practicing her own instrument. Only when she looked up from her case did she realize that the man had left his music sheets on the stand. She snatched them up and wrenched the door open, taking off down the hall after him.
By the time she made it to the parking lot, winded and panting, he was gone. At least, she could not see him. She groaned in frustration, leaning forward to rest a hand on her knee as she caught her breath. She fanned the papers out to get a good look at them. They were only the piece they’d been working on in orchestra, and he’d seemed to have played them entirely by memory, so perhaps he didn’t even need the pages.
As she walked back to the practice room, she studied them. He certainly did not skimp when it came to marking up his pages. There were all sorts of scribbles. Certain parts of the piece were circled, and practice was scrawled underneath them. He’d marked other notes high or flat, and he appeared to also be messing with the bowing of certain notes. Of course, he’d have to change those back before their performance, but perhaps he hadn’t even been practicing the music like that.
There was no name written on any of the pages, which was only to be expected, so she folded the corners of the pages over so that they’d have an easier time staying together when she stuffed them in her case. She’d have to just track him down another day.
—–
Zoro took a deep, steadying breath as he rested his forehead against his steering wheel. He could feel the anxiety creeping in even as he sat there, alone. He’d managed the three-mile drive back to his apartment, but even that was too much. Traffic, as always, was insane in Los Angeles.
He could feel his skin crawling again, and he tried to ignore it. He needed to get inside before he truly started to freak out, but he couldn’t get himself to move. His grip on the steering wheel just barely kept his hands from shaking. It had been over a month since school had begun, but none of his anxiety had abated in the slightest. He’d told himself every night over the summer that it would be fine. He was familiar with California, and there was nothing about it that should trigger him. And yet…here he was, nearing an anxiety attack in his car after more than a month of living here.
Tears bit at his eyes, and he willed himself to think of anything else. Now would be a good time for his sister to give him a phone call, but he knew her timing was never that good. It was nearing midnight at home, anyhow. He wouldn’t expect her to call him right now.
Instead, he chose to think of the school he’d spent the last five years of his life at. Oxnard, where he’d made all of his friends and spent with all of his family. He’d been expected to go to Oxnard – all of his father’s family had gone – and it had truly been an experience like none other.
University paled by comparison, especially since he wasn’t living in the dorms. There were no built-in friends during his first semester, but it also meant he had total peace and quiet whenever he pleased. The only downside was that it meant he wasn’t exactly integrated into university life…and therefore, wasn’t sure how to react when a classmate walked in on him practicing his violin.
By the time the shaking had subsided, he had tired of sitting in his car, so he gathered his things and headed into his apartment building. Being in the middle of Los Angeles, its residents were an odd hodgepodge of different people. He had some neighbors who were older, some who also went to university, some who were in the city to make their big break, and others yet who were just living their day-to-day life. The people he saw the most often were those walking their dogs and taking their children out to the park or to the pool.
When he got to his floor, the elevator opened to welcome a toddler sprinting down the hallway. Zoro held the door until her father joined her, and then he stepped from it. He briefly heard her father murmuring his thanks, but all Zoro offered was an inclination of his head before he continued down the hall.
His apartment was quiet as he flicked on the lights and set his violin case down by the door. It was not at all reminiscent of his home, but he had come to familiarize himself with it over the past month. It more closely resembled his dorm at Oxnard, though of course it would. His parents’ house was…well, it was a mansion. There wasn’t another word for it. Any apartment, no matter how grand, would pale in comparison.
He resolved to make himself some tea, as it was one of the few things that had a chance at calming his mind when he felt this way. The kettle had just begun to boil when his phone began to ring. A glance at it told him exactly who it was: Hyeon. And her timing was only a few minutes two late. He accepted the phone call and put it on speaker, not wanting at that moment in time to expend the extra effort that came with trying to hold the phone to his ear.
“Hi there, Hyeonie.”
Her response came in Korean. “English? For your dear sister? Being in the States has affected you negatively.”
He snorted, continuing on in English if only to annoy her. “Like you don’t speak English every day.”
“I do!” she exclaimed, sticking to Korean just as stubbornly. “It’s absolutely vexing the way I can’t speak Korean hardly anywhere but home!”
She said those words like that wasn’t how it had always been. Though, in truth, he and the older of his two younger siblings had lived in Korea for a brief few years when they’d been small. They’d moved back to England before the younger of his two sisters had been born.
“So hard for you to not have me there, I’m sure,” he told her. “Not like Jiho is on the same floor I used to live on or anything.”
The tea kettle began whistling in earnest then, as though it were angry that he had averted his attention from it. He turned it off and pulled a mug from the cabinet as Hyeon continued their conversation.
“It’s not the same and you know it. Jiho doesn’t like listening to me go on the way you do. And anyway – he’s not my older brother.”
“Who said I like listening to you go on and on?” Zoro teased as he poured the steaming water into his mug, already laden with his tea bag.
She ignored his comment and carried on. “Isa is talking about going to Greece next summer. She’s got this idea that her grandma will take her to all the nice places there.”
Isa – Zoro and Hyeon’s second cousin – was a quarter Greek on her father’s side. She’d always bragged about it, and she was especially close to her paternal grandmother. Zoro wasn’t quite sure how likely the woman was to entertain her dreams of Greece, however. Isabella was every bit the young English heiress she’d been raised as, and her grandmother was quite a bit more down-to-earth.
“I’m sure she has all sorts of ideas,” he responded simply. “How’s school?”
Hyeon groaned. “So boring without you.”
“You can’t have that much free time.”
“I don’t, but I’m used to taking lunch with you! Now I have to listen to go on and on about his skateboarding. You’d think he’d find another hobby!”
Zoro smiled wryly as he pulled his teabag from his mug. She and Jiwoo had been fighting since they’d been in diapers, he knew that much. He wasn’t sure any hobby of Jiwoo’s would be acceptable in Hyeon’s eyes.
“Anything going on with you lately?” Hyeon asked after a lapse of silence.
He thought briefly of the anxiety attack that was still dancing on the outer corners of his mind. It wasn’t quite as pressing.
“Nothing much,” he told her simply. He picked his phone up and walked to the table, where he set his phone and began to sip at his tea.
“How’s orchestra?”
“Boring as it was at Oxnard,” he told her.
“Are the pieces not so complicated?”
He sighed, setting his mug down on the counter. “You know how it is. It’s fun, but everything feels a bit…easy. I’m not sure I have much more to add to the piece we were working on just last week.”
She laughed. “Perhaps you should focus more on your homework, then. That’s what Mumma would say.”
He rolled his eyes. “If she put you up to this….”
“Augh! No! Why ever would she do that? Now, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a paper to finish and then I’m off to bed for the night. Tell the sun hello for me!”
He shook his head. “Whatever you like.”
When the line went dead, he took his mug to the window with him, where he looked out at the city. California was a far cry from England, in both the weather and the sights. The palm trees that sat outside his window, for one. And the sun. He was almost certain Hyeon was being drowned by rain back home right now. He almost wished he were there instead. He’d always loved the rain. Something about it was eerily comforting to him, like it could drown out the sound of his own thoughts in his head.