One major thing had changed in Sam Sook’s life. And she felt free now because of it. Now that her closest friends and her mother understood the fears that she’d been battling, she discovered that she was no longer alone in defending her daughters. Which meant that she could finally find some time to herself. Whenever she desired a bit of time alone – or spent with a friend – either her mother or Jung Sook would offer to watch the girls for her. And now she knew that they would keep a close eye on them. And they would be safe.
For the first time in a while, Sam Sook discovered that she could breathe again.
And Yeo Wool seemed determined to take advantage of that newfound liberty.
The next day, he showed up at her house in the evening. About an hour before sunset. She greeted him in the sitting room which her mother had established to entertain guests.
“Good evening, Yeo Wool.”
He bowed to her. “Sam Sook. It is quite pleasant outside. I was wondering if you would care to take a walk with me?”
Surprised, she glanced sharply at him.
Was he going to press his attentions on her?
If he were, he would find himself quickly rejected. Still, she accepted his offer of a walk with equanimity.
After they had walked a short way, he turned towards her and queried, “How is Se Ri?”
She smiled at him reassuringly. “She is doing amazingly well. All things considered.”
He bobbed his head. “I’m glad to hear it. She is the sweetest child.” He moved his eyes into the path ahead of them.
She wrinkled her brow as she studied his profile. “Yes, she is.”
But how did Yeo Wool know that?
“And she’s so brilliant,” he breathed proudly. Almost as though she were his own.
“How do you know that?” she asked finally.
He glanced her way again. “Know what? That Se Ri is brilliant?”
She nodded.
“Because I’ve talked to her,” he responded, surprised. “On several occasions.”
“When?”
“She’s been at Soo Ho’s house several times when I visited them.” He grinned suddenly. “She’s quite the inquisitive little thing, isn’t she? And so protective of her baby sister. She’ll make a good mother someday.”
Sam Sook furrowed her brow at him. “Yeo Wool, what is this?”
“What?” he queried, at a loss.
“Why are you talking about my children?”
He quirked a dark eyebrow at her. “Don’t your children interest you?” he quizzed her in astonishment.
“Of course, my children interest me!” she gasped. “The question is…why do they interest you?”
“Why, Sam Sook, that is a ridiculous question!” he burst out.
Puzzled, she gaped up at him. “What? Why?”
“Because I adore your girls!” he burst out suddenly. “Almost as much as I adore you.”
Then he tore his eyes away from her again. To stare off into the distance. “I am sorry,” he added primly a moment later. “I didn’t intend to upset you. I was trying to find something to talk about that wouldn’t offend you.”
“What?” She stopped walking. “What are you talking about?”
He heaved a deep sigh as he too came to a standstill. “Sometimes, I feel as if you barely tolerate me. If I am a burden to you, please tell me. I will leave you alone.”
Her heart shifted violently in her chest as she heard the hurt in his tone. He wasn’t meeting her eyes anymore either. And she noticed a pinched expression clouding his mouth.
“Yeo Wool,” she breathed. And she felt an odd pain stabbing her heart all of a sudden.
But he didn’t look at her.
“I want to be your friend. Whatever that looks like,” he gasped after a few quiet moments. “But I will admit that I don’t know what that looks like. Please tell me what you need from me.”
“I…” Her voice trailed off. She was at a loss. “I don’t know either,” she finally admitted.
The corners of his mouth quirked humorlessly. “Well, aren’t we a pair?” he murmured as his eyes finally grazed hers momentarily.
“Yeo Wool. It isn’t you. You know that. Right?”
He blinked. Then he sighed. “If it isn’t me, then what is it?”
She recalled the conversation that she’d had yesterday with Jung Sook. The woman had tried so hard to convince her to spill her secrets. But she had released only one of them. And Yeo Wool already knew that one.
“It’s me,” she admitted in a tiny whisper. Then she sighed. Loudly.
She turned her head away from him and mumbled, “I’m broken, Yeo Wool.”
“What?” He gazed at her. Completely lost now. “What do you mean? How are you broken?”
“I don’t believe that I can ever have a relationship with a man again. Not the kind that you are interested in.”
“What?” he cocked a dark eyebrow at her. “What do you mean? Why not?”
“Some…things have happened in my life that have turned me off to that kind of a relationship. I only have room in my heart now for the simplest of friendships.”
His own heart sank. “I see.”
“I’m so sorry!” she burst out, turning her body to face him fully.
“No,” he muttered. “It’s all right. I can’t say that I understand. Except…maybe I do. If you went through what Se Ri went through, you must have learned that a man’s touch is evil. Why would you crave it?” He felt despair overwhelming him. “I…can I walk you home?” he gasped.
His disappointment was great. So great. When he had discovered that Sam Sook was no longer married, he had begun to hope that one day she might be his. The more time that he’d spent around her, the more he’d come to desire her. He longed to be her best friend. Her lover. Her husband. A father to her girls. He wanted to give her the world and everything in it. He yearned to make her happy.
But she had just told him that such a dream was an impossibility.
He was choking on his disillusionment. He coughed back a sob as he turned his face away from hers.
Sam Sook could feel his pain. She wanted to reach out and touch his hand. To comfort him. But she knew that she would only make things worse if she did.
“Certainly,” she spoke firmly. “Thank you, Yeo Wool, for suggesting we take a walk. You were right. The weather is beautiful. So is the view.”
But he didn’t realize that she was looking at him when she spoke those last words.
