“I can live without it.”
Those were the words that greeted her when she stepped up underneath the beautiful trees which would blossom in the coming spring. Cherry blossom trees which had bloomed for them so long ago.
“You can live without what?” Sam Sook asked Yeo Wool.
“Sex.” He brooked no confusion.
“What?” she asked in surprise as she gaped up at him. The man was so tall.
But she never felt threatened by his size. Not like she had cowered before that other man’s extreme height.
“I am not like your husband. I would never want you to sleep in another room. But…if you cannot tolerate my touch, I will agree to any arrangement you want. You can have your own room. Your own set of rooms if you need them. A bedchamber for you. And an adjoining one for the girls to share. Or you can all share one room if that makes you feel most comfortable. And I will stay in my own room. I just…I don’t want to be without you.”
“Yeo Wool,” she gazed up at him while her heart thundered in her ears, “you would really be happy simply living in the same house with me?”
“Yes,” he answered unequivocally. Without any hesitation whatsoever.
“You’re willing to become responsible for me and my daughters? With no reward?”
“Reward? Sam Sook. I love you. Your presence would be my reward. You delight me. So do Se Ri and Se Yeon. I just want to be with you. All of you.”
He took a deep breath. “I realize that I am gone quite often, and that you may not wish to be apart from your mother. So – if you are amenable,” he glanced into her eyes, “I am willing to move into your mother’s house.”
“No,” she breathed.
“No?” His heart thudded to the ground. And he closed his eyes. Fighting back tears.
He had known that there was a very real possibility that she was going to deny him his life’s dream. But that one word of refusal cut him all the way to the quick. It hurt more than any other wound had ever hurt him. Even the truth about his father.
He stood frozen. Devastated.
It took him a moment to realize that she had continued to speak.
“I do not want to live in that house any longer. I’ve kept the girls with me since Moon Won was executed. But every time I walk by her room…” She shuddered.
His focus sharpened. Had he misunderstood her?
“And truthfully, Yeo Wool, my own room holds hideous memories for me too.”
His eyes widened. “Do you mean…?”
“It was my room when I was a child.”
“When Moon Won’s father…?”
“Yes,” her eyes held his steady. “So you can see why I have no love for that house.”
“Does your mother know this?”
She nodded her head. “I have been considering finding a house of my own.”
“Ah.”
Another slash to his heart. He hadn’t misunderstood her.
“But I thought that you moved home to care for your mother?”
Her lips twitched suddenly. “My mother needs my care about as much as the king does. Have you not noticed that she is perfectly capable of commanding that army of servants surrounding her?”
“I have,” he grinned, “and then some. A daughter, two granddaughters, and all their friends too, I’d wager.”
“Exactly,” she responded crisply. “Besides, if I move out, I’d still be close by. Eomma could send a servant to me if she needed anything.” She gazed at him consideringly. “I’m in a rare position. A woman of sufficient means. And independence. I can do as I like.”
His heart continued to sink. Apparently, the ground wasn’t the lowest level.
He nodded his head at her. “I understand.”
“Which is why it would be easy for me to find us a house. Even while you are busy with your duties for the king.”
“What?” he lifted his head to gaze down at her in confusion.
She blinked. “Yeo Wool, are you truly certain that you can live without having any intimacy with me whatsoever? I mean, we haven’t even kissed.”
“Are you…?” He puckered his brow. “Are you considering marrying me? If I agree to separate rooms?”
She took a deep breath as she glanced away. Then her eyes slid back to encounter his. And she nodded her head firmly. “Yes.”
He stared at her in wonder. For several silent moments.
“We could test it,” he murmured finally as his gaze dropped to caress her mouth.
“Test what?” she quizzed him. Suddenly breathless.
He took a step towards her. “Are you averse to being kissed?”
She fell into those dark pools he called his eyes. And felt herself drowning. It was terrifying. And exhilarating.
“Can you stop at kissing?” she wondered aloud.
He nodded his head. “I can.”
He reached for her. Sliding his arm around her back and drawing her close to him.
She didn’t fight him. She already knew that she loved being in his arms. Her heart began to pound as she considered kissing him.
He glanced at her lips again. “May I then?”
For a moment, she glanced up. At the trees surrounding them. Then her lips curved into a deep smile.
“We’re in her garden,” she whispered.
His own face lit with a sweet grin. “Where first we met. All those years ago. And you delivered me from my worst fears.”
Tears instantly flooded her eyes. Was he going to deliver her from her worst fears here too?
Before he could blink, she found a bit of courage and raised herself up on tiptoe. And brushed her lips across his.
Startling him.
But not too much. His arm around her tightened. Drawing her snugly up against him. He bent his head and gave her a proper kiss then. One that made her melt.
It was, in fact, the sweetest kiss that she’d ever received. And she reveled in it for a few blissful moments. Completely unafraid of the man in whose arms she rested.
But that kiss was making her yearn for things. Things which she wasn’t sure that she’d ever be ready for. There were so many echoes. How to overcome them? To have a truly fulfilling relationship with Yeo Wool?
“Ask me again,” she whispered against his lips.
He drew back slightly. “What?”
“Your question. Ask me here. In our garden.”
He smiled at her.
And then he released her to fall on his knees before her.
Her face crumpled. “Oh, Yeo Wool, I didn’t mean…! It’s so cold! Stand up!”
He shook his head. “No.”
He reached for her hands. And he chafed them between his as he began to speak, his breath visible in the frigid air between them.
“Sam Sook, my avenging angel, would you make me the happiest man in all of Silla? Will you marry me?”
She stared down at him as she fought valiantly to hold back the tears that were bubbling up inside of her. She had never believed that she would again find a man who loved her. One who desired her. For all of her. And one who adored her daughters.
“Yes,” she whispered. “But I have a request.”
She could never take him away from his garden. That would be simply cruel.
And right now, it felt like her garden too.
“Anything, my angel,” he continued to gaze longingly up at her.
“Do you think that your mother would allow us to live here? With her?” She glanced at the house. “I presume that there is plenty of room.”
“There is scads of space,” he rumbled.
“Yeo Wool,” she frowned. “Is your mother going to be pleased that you chose me?”
“My mother adores you.”
Startled, she riveted her gaze to his. “What?”
“After you left – all those years ago – I told her about the bullies. But I also told her about you. And how you rescued me. And befriended me. My mother has always adored you, Sam Sook. As have I.”
He stood up and smiled sweetly down at her. “May I have another kiss?”
“Yeo Wool,” she rebuked him breathlessly. It was so cold out here! “You don’t have to ask me for a kiss. It’s just a kiss.”
“Is it?” he queried mischievously as he pulled her close and set about teaching her that a kiss was, indeed, not always just a kiss.
Apparently, Sam Sook had a lot to learn.
For he delighted her in ways which she had never experienced with Se Ho. Truthfully, the man hadn’t been much of a kisser.
But the same could not be said of Yeo Wool.
