This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you. You are not alone. You are infinitely precious. And the trauma you endured is not your fault. Know that you are so loved. And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you. You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.
Rated M for Mature. This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
She was shaking. His lips had come to rest against her cheek. She’d felt the lightning of them all the way down to her toes. She began to weep. What was it about that innocent touch that was opening a floodgate in her soul?
No man had ever touched her with such tenderness before. She could feel it pouring forth from Yoongi’s core. His essence dripping into her. His gentle spirit wooing her in the sweetest of ways. Convincing her that she had, at last, found a safe place to rest.
So she let him cradle her in his arms. She bent her face into the safety of his chest, and she mourned all she’d lost in the last few months. She had come to South Korea with such high hopes. Instead, she’d taken the scariest ride of her life. And there was so much she was still terrified of. So many consequences waiting in the wings.
“Yoongi, what if I’m pregnant? What if he gave me an STD? What if I can’t ever be with anyone without feeling the terrifying effects of what he did to me?” She sobbed, clinging to him.
“We will take it one step at a time. Have you visited a doctor to take any tests?”
She shook her head.
“I wonder if there’s still signs of the rape in your body. I think we should take you to a doctor immediately and ask them to run all their tests. I will go with you to the hospital. I’m assuming you want to add rape to the charges the police are bringing against him.”
She hesitated. “They’ll want me to tell them what happened. I’ll have to testify.”
“Yes.”
She began to shake harder. She felt like she was going to vomit again. “I don’t think I can do it, Yoongi. Everyone will be looking at me. They’ll blame me. They’ll say I went to his apartment looking for him. They’ll ask why I didn’t break up with him. Why I was packing up my apartment and planning to move in with him.”
“They might say all those things. But we both know that’s not the truth. If you want to stand up for yourself, if you want to tell the truth, I promise to be there with you.”
“But what if you’re scheduled to be performing when all this finally comes to court?”
“Most likely, I won’t be. It usually takes months for these things to be resolved. But no matter what, I promise you, you will not be alone. I will make sure that there are people who believe in you surrounding you when you testify.”
It wasn’t the assurance she wanted. She knew that if Yoongi was there, she’d have the courage to stand up for herself. But what would happen if he failed to appear, and she had to face the monster alone?
“Come on. Let’s take you to the hospital. One foot in front of the other. One tiny step in the right direction.”
She grabbed onto him tighter. “You’ll stay with me? You won’t leave me tonight?”
He grimaced. “You probably want me to leave the room when they do the rape kit. And it takes a while.”
“But you’ll stay at the hospital? You’ll come back into the room as soon as they’re done?” She could feel fear clawing at her throat again.
“Yes,” he breathed into her hair. “Of course.”
She took a deep breath. What she really wanted was to stay in the safe circle of Yoongi’s arms for the rest of her life.
“Hey, you are worth fighting for, Stasia. You are precious. You are priceless.”
“Now? Even now? Am I still?” she cried out, staring up at him as fresh tears poured down her cheeks.
He frowned, drawing his eyebrows together over his nose. “Of course! Of course, you are, Stasia! That man’s ill treatment of you changes nothing! It can’t touch your worth. You are precious still, love.”
She buried her face in his chest once again and wept. Would she ever stop crying?
“I don’t want to go to the hospital!! I don’t want anyone examining me. I don’t want to talk to the police. I don’t want to stand up in a court surrounded by a bunch of people who probably don’t speak my language and tell them all the horrid details of what he did to me! I don’t want to relive it.”
“I know,” he whispered. “But you are worth it. You are worth fighting for.” He squeezed her tightly against him. “It’s your decision. But I, for one, want to see him suffer for what he did to you. I don’t want him to get away with it. I don’t want him to ever be in a position to hurt you or anyone else again.”
She shook her head. “I won’t do it. I’m in a foreign country. No one is going to believe me. They’ll ask why I didn’t resist. Why I didn’t run away. I begged him to stop. I cried. But he had already hit me twice, and I knew from experience that he’s stronger than me. Yoongi, no one will care. I’ll just be paraded through the papers as a liar. I’ve seen this sort of thing before.” She shook her head. “I should have gone home. A month ago. I should have told my mum what was going on. She would have sent me a plane ticket. Why didn’t I just go home?” She was sobbing again.
Yoongi understood her dilemma. He decided to just hold her tightly for as long as she needed him to. “Please let me take you to a private doctor tomorrow to get some tests run. I want to make sure that you’re okay. At least, let me do that.”
She nodded. “Okay. I can handle that.”
Yoongi stood in that hallway for a long time that night simply holding her in his arms. His heart breaking for her. And he wondered how many other girls around the world had suffered the same things at the hands of a horrid man
