This story is dedicated to you if you have ever been abused by someone bigger, stronger, and seemingly more powerful than you. You are not alone. You are infinitely precious. And the trauma you endured is not your fault. Know that you are so loved. And whatever trauma you have been through – it does NOT define you. You are a beautiful rose, a lovely lily, a most precious gem.
Rated M for Mature. This story deals with some difficult topics and involves some graphic situations.
“You are my shining star.”
He paused. Hmm. Perhaps he was right. A starstruck thirteen-year-old. But he kept reading anyway.
“You are the only light in my darkness.”
Now this had suddenly become something other than what his first impression had been. Or perhaps, that had been his second impression. His first impression was what had caused him to pick up the envelope in the first place. The knowledge that this was something out of the ordinary, that it contained something special. But he hadn’t known that it was going to manifest as a cry for help. He didn’t discover that until he’d read the letter through.
“No matter how he touches me, my heart is safe from him. Because I have you. No matter what he does, I go on. Because you did. Thank you for giving me strength to withstand whatever comes. Whenever the pain is too much, I remember your broken shoulder, and I grit my teeth, and I persevere.
“I still remember the first time he hit me. It came as such a shock that day. I had made him dinner. Just a simple dinner. But I’m not Korean, and it was one of my first attempts at a dish that required more skill. More skill than I had, apparently. I accidentally served him raw chicken. I guess I didn’t quite heat the pan properly that day.
“You better believe I didn’t make that mistake again. But that day as he bit into that raw chicken, he flew out of his chair, and his hand slapped my face. He accused me of trying to kill him. The thought had never crossed my mind. Until that day, I thought I loved him. And I thought he loved me too. But now I think I was wrong.
“I convinced myself for a time that it would never happen again. The next day he returned to his affable self, and I began to wonder if I’d dreamed the whole scenario up. Though, why I would have dreamed that my boyfriend slapped me, I cannot explain. A couple of weeks went by without incident. Though, I confess I was walking on eggshells the whole time.
“Just as I began to relax, the second incident occurred. I was late coming to visit him one night after work. An hour late. He accused me of seeing another man. I told him that was preposterous. I had been working. But he insisted that he had seen me with another man. Indeed. I had been working with a man that evening. But he was old enough to be my father! I had no interest in him. But my boyfriend didn’t believe me. He grabbed me and shoved me up against a wall. Right before his hand exploded into my cheek again. It hurt so badly that I cried myself to sleep that night. No amount of makeup would cover up the black bruises that appeared the next evening. I had to tell my students that I walked into a door in the middle of the night.”
Yoongi winced as he read the letter. Just reading her story was painful.
“It’s happened two more times in the last three weeks. I never know what’s going to set him off, Yoongi. I’m being the best girlfriend I know how to be. You might ask me why I don’t just break up with him. I’m terrified of him. And I’m all alone here. I haven’t really even made any friends yet. I’ve been in Korea for three months. I met him my first day here. Would to God that I hadn’t. But I did. Now I’m afraid that if I break up with him, he’ll damage me permanently.”
Yoongi could feel his anxiety rising. He blew air out of his lungs forcefully. Then he continued to read this horrifying letter. He could tell things were simply going to get worse the longer she stayed with this monster.
“I don’t know what to do. But I feel better for telling you. Thank you for listening. I don’t know why I’m writing this. You’ll never read it. Some sweet girl who works for you might, but she won’t know what to do either. And my letter will meet the shredder. Unseen by your beautiful eyes. So I will wax eloquent for a moment about them.
“Your eyes, Min Yoongi, saved my life for a little while. They’re as beautiful as your soul. But…why are they so sad? Are you as disillusioned by life as I already am? I hope not. I hope I imagine the sorrow I see in your eyes. Thank you for looking my way. Even if you didn’t mean to. I love you, Yoongi.”
It was unsigned. He glanced at the envelope. No return address either. She didn’t believe he would ever read her letter. Or come to her aid. His heart suddenly broke. He lowered his head onto his desk and bawled like a baby.
The next day, he visited the mailroom. And told everyone there to be on the lookout for black envelopes covered in white stars.
