He strode down the hallway. An hour ago, he’d confronted his mother. She’d demanded that he marry Sook Myeong if he wanted her to abdicate his throne. He had refused. They’d had a clash over what kind of king he should be. He’d stood up for himself before leaving his mother to walk the courtyard alone. To think. And to prepare himself for his meeting with the doctor.
He’d just left Ah Ro. Inwardly, he was shaking now. He hadn’t been sure that she’d believed his performance. She’d stared at him suspiciously and told him that his behavior today wasn’t like him. She was right. But deceiving her was a necessity.
Deluding them all was necessary. It was the only way that he could draw out his enemies. And lay a strong enough trap for them.
But, in the midst of his disguise, he had to hope that the hwarang would still believe he was the man they’d come to know in their training. The warrior who had fought by their side. And instilled his convictions in them. Because if they thought he was still that honorable soldier, then he had a true chance at gaining their support. And he very badly needed it. He needed them to agree with his vision of the world. And his perspective of their people. And his dreams for their kingdom. He needed them to choose a different path from the one most of their fathers had chosen.
So…he was still holding his breath. And he would be for several more days.
He was smarting right now. From his interview with Ah Ro. The woman was still stunningly beautiful to him. She still had his heart. He might be intrigued by Eun Sook’s unusual beauty and amazing ability to spin a tale, but his feelings were still stirred by the doctor. Even though he knew she loved another. He groaned in frustration. He just wanted to be free from her hold on him.
He strode into his rooms. He had to see Eun Sook. Maybe she could distract him from his restlessness. Seeing Ah Ro had stirred it up again.
Eun Sook glanced up in surprise when he entered his office. Her snowy brows chased her hairline. “I thought you were going to be gone all day.”
“I did too. But I needed to see you.” He walked over to his desk and leaned against it after turning to face her.
“You did?”
Why was her heart beginning to race? She stared blankly up at him. Still frustrated that she couldn’t see well. She wanted to stand up and draw nearer to him to clearly discern the expression in his eyes. And to enjoy that beautiful countenance. But she remained seated.
He nodded. “Yes.”
As she blinked rapidly, he frowned. “Are your eyes bothering you again?”
“Yes,” she lied. She wasn’t about to admit that she was flustered by his presence.
He grimaced. “That must be fatiguing. I wish there were some way I could help you.”
Her heart was bending towards him again. She furrowed her white brow. “Why are you so kind to me? I really don’t understand it. No one is kind to me.”
“I am not afraid of you,” he whispered after a moment.
Her gaze pierced his own abruptly. And she stood up. Until she was just a few inches from his face. She peered up at him as tears pricked her eyes.
“Why is that?” she breathed, not understanding.
“I have spent most of my life afraid of others,” he murmured.
Shocked, she continued to stare at him. “What?” she asked faintly.
He nodded. “It’s true.” He took a deep breath. “Frankly, I’ve grown tired of it. I’ve decided that it’s time for courage. I am never going to be who I was born to be if I don’t embrace some bravery. But concerning you,” his gaze flicked over her, “I find nothing whatsoever threatening about you.”
He did, in fact, wonder if she might be one of the few people who would deal completely honestly with him. Even if she knew his true identity.
But she startled him a moment later when a tear trickled down her cheek. He wrinkled his brow in concern and bent towards her. That sympathetic face of his was making her heart tumble around in her chest.
“Why are you crying?” he whispered as he reached up and touched that tear reverently with the very tip of his finger.
But she simply shook her head and turned away from him in embarrassment. “People aren’t nice. They don’t believe the best of others. They expect the worst.”
She sounded like she was trying to convince herself of something. And maybe throwing up a wall to protect herself from him should he later change his mind about her.
“I mean it, Eun Sook. You don’t scare me. You never will.”
“Ha,” she breathed faintly. “We shall see.”
He cleared his throat. “I must leave again. I have another appointment.”
She turned back towards him. And gave him a faint smile. “Should I expect you again today?”
“Before nightfall,” was all to which he would commit.
She simply stared at him as he gave her a sweet smile before heading towards the door. Leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.
Let’s hope his own need won’t overpower his protection of her