Chapter 7: Reckoning – May 14, 2022
He would never have admitted it, but Eunho was nervous. He wiped his hands on the sides of his pants. Even his palms were sweating. Haewon had asked him if he wanted her to come with him. Her presence would have been comforting, but their trip home had taken what little energy she’d had left. She needed to rest. For several days. And he needed to get this over with. It had been preying on his mind for weeks now.
As he stood in front of Yunyeong’s house, he balked at what he was about to do. Why was apologizing to a girl scarier than raping her had been? Perhaps because he felt like he was going to put himself at her mercy. He had not given her any. So he knew he didn’t deserve any from her. Or anyone else.
And yet, hadn’t he already been given the greatest mercy of his life? Haewon was his. His angel of mercy. Fragile, ethereal, perfect Haewon had graced his life with her unconditional love. She knew the worst of him, yet she loved him still. She had, in fact, spent months searching his heart to find its gold. Now she swore she had found what she was looking for. Hopefully, today he could give away a little of that gold to a girl to whom he owed so much more than he could ever repay.
He knocked on the door and waited. Today was a Saturday. He could end up being confronted by any number of people, including her appa, her husband, and her brother-in-law. Not to mention her feisty sister. As he pondered this circumstance, he wondered what it was about Yunyeong that had attracted him to her. Generally, he picked a more adventurous sort of girl. Like her sister, Yunseong. But then he realized that he had gravitated towards extroverts only after he had raped Yunyeong.
Had she perhaps reminded him of his dear Haewon?
Such a thought disturbed him greatly. It was still upsetting him when the door suddenly opened. The gentle girl on the other side of that threshold paled as their eyes locked. He swallowed and spoke the line he’d rehearsed for weeks.
“I’ve come to beg your forgiveness.”
Yunyeong stared at Eunho. He was the very last person she had ever expected to find on her doorstep. She was frozen for a few moments. Then some words fell out of her mouth, but she wasn’t even cognizant of them so lost was she in shock.
“I beg your pardon?”
“No,” he grimaced. “I’m the one who needs to be pardoned. Yunyeong, I am so very sorry that I raped you. I took advantage of your trusting nature for weeks. And then I betrayed you. In the worst way possible. I know I hurt you badly.” He hung his head in shame. “I’m sorry.”
Her shock transformed into something deeper. Wonder. Eunho had sought her out to apologize?
More than three months ago now, her brother had informed her that Eunho was getting married. She had been shocked then too. And she had pitied the poor girl. But Seokie had gone on to explain the circumstances surrounding their wedding. Yunyeong had found it extremely ironic that her rapist had married a girl who had been violated by one of his own friends. Apparently, Eunho had been enraged by his actions, had physically punished the perpetrator, and had rescued the girl.
Seokie had also explained that Eunho’s new wife suffered from a rare heart defect and that her life had hung in the balance since she was tiny. Had the fragile girl had some astounding effect on her violent husband? Was she the reason Eunho was here now?
“I don’t know what to say, Eunho. I don’t quite understand why you’re here. Why you would treat me the way you did and then feel the need to apologize years later,” she whispered.
She was quite conscious of the fact that a tiny baby was sleeping a few feet away. Yunyeong felt oddly vulnerable right now. She was home alone with her four-month-old niece. And her own child was growing in her womb. Kookie had dragged Tae to the gym. Her appa had gone into work for a little while. Yun was shopping with their eomma.
Eunho saw the uncertainty in her face. Was she still afraid of him? His heart sank, for he discovered he didn’t want this gentle girl to fear him. At this moment, she was reminding him of Haewon. How had he ever enjoyed the power he’d had over Yunyeong that night? It appalled him now.
“Please don’t be afraid of me,” he breathed quietly. “I swear I will never touch you again. Or hurt anyone you love.” He had watched as several times over the past few moments her eyes had traveled across the room behind her towards a baby who appeared to be sleeping in the corner of a couch.
At his words, her eyes collided with his again.
“Those are just words, Eunho. You fed me so many words that you neither meant nor abided by. Why should I trust you now?”
“You shouldn’t. From your viewpoint, I would despise me. I would probably have plotted my revenge several times over had I been in your shoes. But you were always too good for that, Yunyeong. I know how kind your heart is. That’s why I’m here apologizing today. Because I am truly sorry that I hurt you. That I hurt your kind heart. It doesn’t matter whether you forgive me or not. You owe me nothing. I owe you everything.”
His eyes left hers to land on the head of the sleeping child. “I hope that you have found your own brand of happiness. I pray I didn’t ruin your whole life.” A tear slid down his cheek. “I’ll leave now.” He turned to go.
Yunyeong felt compelled to speak. “You did ruin my life.”
He turned towards her as a pain pierced his countenance and flowed out of his eyes. But then she continued to speak.
“For a time. I hid away from everyone I loved. I lived alone in a bubble. Afraid to talk to anyone. Afraid to meet any guy’s eye. Believing they were all dangerous. But then I met someone who showed me what love really is. And I found a rare kind of love with him. And I do have a happy life now.
“Eunho,” she responded as she felt something break open inside of her. And the bitterness lifted. It was, in fact, soaring on wings and flying far from her now. In its place, she found a strength that could only be called compassion. Again she wondered what had happened to him as a child to turn him into such a monster. Her imagination then conjured up a picture of that tiny boy. She chose to speak to that helpless creature. “I forgive you. And I hope that you, too, can find some peace.”
As she spoke, a tear escaped her eye to travel down her face.
“We are all broken, aren’t we?” he murmured. “One way or another.”
His lips twisted wryly as he turned to walk away from the first girl he had violently wronged. He was on his way to find the second.
Yunyeong stood on her doorstep and watched him until he disappeared from view. Then she burst into tears. But this time she wasn’t weeping for herself. Her tears were for a broken, little boy. She prayed that he would find his way home.
—
He stood on the front steps of a house he had visited from time to time with his stepmother. He had never been friends with the boy who had grown up in that house. But his stepmother had befriended that boy’s eomma at some social function years ago. So, occasionally, Eunho had set foot inside this house.
But the only time he really remembered had been over a year ago now. He’d been attending a business soirée for his appa when Eunho had caught sight of a girl who had eluded him for years. A girl he had desired with everything within him. Though, he couldn’t have given a reason for his ardent interest in that one girl. All he had known was that he had to have her. So he had followed her up the stairs, determined to take her in one of the bedrooms.
Now he realized how out-of-control he had been then. That he would have attempted to rape a girl at a business party. It was insane. He must have been mad for a season.
Minha’s boyfriend had dragged Eunho off of her, and together they had given him a new lip. Or, rather, damaged his old one. So he supposed, really, he had already reckoned with them. Still, because of Haewon’s gentle influence of the past few months, he felt the need to give Minha some words.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by a butler. Who led him into a sitting room. Where he was joined by Mrs. Beom a few minutes later. She stopped short when she saw him.
“Eunho. What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to speak to your son. And to Minha. I don’t know where she lives. Or how to reach her. This is the last place I saw her, so I decided to start here.”
“She has no wish to see you.”
“That is completely understandable. And I was prepared for that. I take it you are in contact with her?”
Her lips twitched. “You could say that.”
“Then would you do me this one favor, please? And I’ll never bother you again,” he reached out his hand towards her. His held an envelope. “Would you give her this letter? You may read it first and burn it if you wish. Just, please, consider it carefully before you keep it from her. But, most likely, you know her better than I. You can discern whether this letter will help her or hurt her.”
“Which do you wish it to do?”
Surprised, he blinked. “Why, help, of course!”
“Why is that an ‘of course’?”
He frowned and furrowed his brow. “Because I’m sorry that I hurt her.”
She took the envelope and opened it. She pulled a piece of paper from inside and scanned its contents. Her eyebrows rose.
“I always knew you had it in you.”
“What?” Puzzled, he stared at her.
“To do the right thing.”
Her words astounded him. “How could you know such a thing? Why would you even think it?”
“When you were quite tiny, you visited my house once. You must have been…what? Five years old? My daughter was a toddler. She was forever getting into scrapes at that age. I was distracted momentarily, and she climbed the stairs. Which really was not a big deal. She knew how to navigate them, but something happened, and she fell down several of them.
“Her scream drew your attention first. You ran into the foyer to see what was wrong. When I reached her side, you were cradling her in your arms. I saw you bend your head and kiss her forehead. And you murmured something sweet to her too.”
She smiled suddenly. “I’ve never forgotten it. When Minha told me you’d tried to rape her, I couldn’t believe it at first. I still find it hard to believe.” Her eyes met his.
“It’s true. If not for your son, I would have hurt her badly that day.” He winced. “As it was, I hit her hard enough to bruise her.”
“Why?” Mrs. Beom asked as she squinted at him.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve spent most of my life angry. It just bubbles up from deep down inside.”
“You don’t seem angry now.”
He sighed. “Actually, I’m still angry. Very angry. The woman I love —”
He stopped speaking for a moment. She noticed something glistening in his eyes.
“Life is horribly unfair.” He heaved a huge sigh. “The difference is I control the anger better than I used to. But it’s still there. I witnessed something a few months back that caused me to see myself as I truly am. I didn’t like what I saw. I realized how badly I had hurt a lot of people.”
“I’m glad,” Mrs. Beom asserted. “Keep moving. You’re headed in the right direction now, son.”
He glanced up at her sharply. No woman had called him ‘son’ in over two decades.
“Thank you for giving that to Minha. I’m sorry I dishonored you and your husband with my behavior here in your home.” He glanced around the room he was in. Then he drew a deep breath. “I need to go now.”
A moment later, he was gone. But his words were still in her hand.
—
“This is for Minha,” Mrs. Beom handed the envelope to her son later that afternoon.
Naru frowned. “What is it?”
“A letter from Eunho.”
“The guy who tried to rape her?”
She nodded. He held it with two fingertips far away from his face. Like it was a piece of stinky garbage.
“And why would I ever give such a piece of trash to my precious wife?” He looked around. There had to be a lighter here somewhere.
“Let her read it, Naru. You read it first. But I think she should see it. I believe he was sincere. I talked to him a couple hours ago.”
He narrowed his eyes at her.
“Please. Humor your eomma.”
His lips twisted, but he opened the envelope and pulled out the paper. His eyes scanned it.
“I’m not impressed.”
“Naru.” Her voice was stern. Silence echoed between them momentarily. “You, of all people, should know that a man can choose a different path than that which he has been on for a long time. Minha gave you a chance. I think it’s time you gave Eunho one.”
He sighed. Heavily. “All right. I’ll give it to her.” But he didn’t have to be happy about it.
—
“Love!” Naru called when he opened the door to his beloved farmhouse.
“Apppppa!” came the cry of a little girl who suddenly darted across the room and threw herself at his legs. He grinned and reached down to pick her up and twirl her around before settling her on his strong shoulders. “Hello, princess! How are you?”
Ajin giggled. “I missed you, Appa!”
“I missed you too, button.”
Just then, his very pregnant wife waddled into the room. Though, she wouldn’t have appreciated that description.
“Naru, darling, where have you been?”
“Visiting my eomma.”
“Ah. How is she?” A smile spread slowly across her face.
“She’s been talking to an old acquaintance of yours.”
Something in his tone alerted her. “Ajin, there are some cookies on the kitchen table. Would you like one?”
The little girl wiggled, and Naru retrieved her from her high perch. He set her down on the ground, and she flew out to the kitchen, eagerly seeking her special treat.
“Naru, what is it?”
He pulled the envelope from his pocket. “A letter. For you. From Eunho.”
She looked at it like it might bite her.
“I’ve already read it. So has Eomma. We both agreed you should read it too. But only if you want to.”
She tore her eyes from that abhorrent piece of paper and met his gaze. She trusted Naru. He had proven himself time and again. He was still proving himself every day. He was an amazing appa to her little girl. He was a wonderful husband. He adored them all. Still. He hadn’t grown weary of his roles as husband and father and adopted grandson.
But something still gave her pause concerning that letter.
“Naru, I’ve put the past behind me. I don’t wish to revisit it.”
“I know, love. The thing is…I think Eunho is trying to put it behind him too. But, first, he’s facing what’s he’s done. Recognizing that he wronged you.”
“What?” she gasped, now curious what the missive contained.
She stepped forward and pulled the envelope from his hand. Their fingers brushed, and the familiar lightning leapt between them. Still. She glanced up into his eyes and smiled. He reached for her and pulled her close.
“That letter will wait a moment,” he mumbled. Right before his lips devoured hers. After a few blissful moments, he whispered, “How many cookies are on that plate? Will they occupy our little princess for a half hour or so?”
Minha giggled and slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “Naru! She’d get a bellyache if she ate them all!”
“That’s all right. I’m excellent at caring for sick girls. A little puke never hurt anything but my pants.”
She shook her head. “You don’t want her to have a stomachache any more than I do!”
“No,” he twisted his mouth ruefully. “But I do want you.” He glanced down at her burgeoning belly. “And pretty soon our activities will be on hiatus for several weeks. We must take our chances while we may.”
She quirked a dark eyebrow at him. “How are you going to do with six weeks of abstinence?”
“Quite fine. If you recall, I suffered through several months when I was courting you.”
“Indeed. You did. I was quite proud of you.” She planted another kiss on his lips. Then she called over her shoulder, “Harmony?! Can you watch Ajin for an hour? Naru and I need to take a little nap.”
“Of course, dear,” came the jolly woman’s voice through the doorway of the kitchen. “Enjoy yourselves.” Then her chuckle could be heard riding on the air between them.
Naru’s raven eyebrow flew up to challenge his hairline. “You just gave us away.”
“Me? How on earth would I fool her? I did, after all, fall in love with a rake. And I got a child by him too.” She glanced down at her belly. But a delighted smile was still teasing her lips.
“After he married you,” he pointed out. “Don’t forget that part. And you didn’t marry a rake, love. You married a reformed rake. There is quite a difference, you know.”
“Don’t I know it,” she murmured as her lips claimed his again.
A few moments later, she tossed the envelope on her nightstand. A delightful hour passed before she glanced at it again. She reached out to pick it up after Naru headed for the shower. Her heart began to race. Why?
Eunho had never gained his desire. She and Naru had thwarted him. Eunho had managed to bruise her cheekbone, though. Absentmindedly, she reached up and rubbed it. She hoped to never feel that pain exploding in her face ever again.
She pulled a sheet of paper out of that envelope. She set the envelope down on the nightstand and took her time unfolding the paper. But, eventually, she found the courage to glance at the cramped handwriting. It was worse than some of her students’ penmanship. And she taught preschoolers. However, her eyes could make out the words. So she began to read.
“Minha, I am sorry that I attacked you. I’m sorry that I threatened you all those years ago when you were dating Beopdung. I always thought you were too good for him. You were too good for me too. That’s probably why I wanted you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I just wanted you to know. I hope your cheek is okay.”
Then he had hastily scrawled his signature. Her eyes retracing those letters and then revisiting each word, she stared at that letter for a long time. Astounded. She had damaged his lip. Most likely, permanently. Yet he was apologizing for a bruise that had quickly healed. Of course, the trauma he had put her through was another matter. Still. She could hardly believe such a violent man would apologize to her for his behavior.
What on earth had gotten into him? And why had he found it necessary to write her this letter?
Was it possible that Eunho was repenting for all the pain he had caused?
An odd thing happened in her heart then. She found herself releasing him. And all the pain he had inflicted upon her heart. She felt it like a bubble bursting to set free a torrent of warm liquid. It all melted away.
Naru had helped her through the worst of it. But that tiny seed of bitterness had still lingered within her soul. It had been caused by the shock of someone acting out of violent hatred for her. The knowledge that she had done nothing to hurt that man, yet he had desired to hurt her.
She didn’t like the way such bitterness felt. Like a pebble in her shoe. Always chafing her. Or the ache from a loose tooth that refused to break fully free. Now she could feel that tiny seed being caught by the tide of that warm river. It was being carried far from her. And she was happy to let it go.
Just then, she felt something else burst. And a warm river was running down her leg. Her eyebrows flew north.
“Naru!” She dropped the letter on her nightstand. “I think my water just broke!”
––
Jungkook opened the door to their home and turned back to laugh over his shoulder at something funny Tae had just said. But as his head pivoted towards the living room once again, his eye caught Yuni’s, and he knew that something had happened.
He walked quickly across the room, coming to a stop in front of her. “What’s wrong?”
“You were gone longer than I anticipated,” she murmured as her eyes met his again. He saw the pain in them.
“We decided to grab some lunch. What’s the matter?”
“I had a little visit today. From Eunho.”
“What?” His beautiful eyes grew large in his handsome face.
“He came to apologize.”
“He did?” Jungkook was astounded. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. He didn’t threaten me. He simply apologized and left.” She turned her head to glance out the window. “It was the strangest thing. I never in a million years would have dreamed he would apologize to me. Or that he even felt bad about what he did to me. But I had the feeling that he regretted it almost immediately after he did it.”
She glanced back up into Kookie’s eyes. “How strange.” She took a deep breath. “He’s not the same person he was four months ago. Something’s changed.”
“Do you think it’s his wife?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. But whatever it is, I’m glad it’s happening. I have some hope that he’ll never hurt another girl again.”
Jungkook reached out and pulled her into his arms. She might not need a hug, but he sure did. He needed to assure himself that she was safe in his embrace. If anything, he felt more protective of her now than he had when he’d been courting her. Yuni was his priceless treasure.
