Three months previously, Yura had been returning to the lunchroom after visiting the restroom. She’d rounded a corner and heard an odd sound. A heart-wrenching sound. She had followed it and found a sight that had stupefied her. Seungbin had been hiding under the stairwell sobbing.
Her tender heart couldn’t just leave him like that. So she had slid under that stairwell, and her soft voice had wrapped around him with more comfort than she would ever know.
“Seungbin, what’s wrong?” she’d whispered in her tiny voice.
He’d gazed up at her as another sob shook his body. “My eomma’s in the hospital. She’s really sick. They don’t think she’s going to make it. The doctors said she has two weeks left to live.” A shudder had shaken his lithe frame.
Her gentle heart had turned over in her chest. She had instantly forgiven him for a decade of bullying. She’d reached out her arms to give him a much-needed hug. He had glanced up at her in surprise. After the way he had treated her, he had expected her to flee from him forever. But now she was trying to comfort him.
He had been only too ready to receive that comfort. His arms had engulfed her, and he had buried his face in the crook of her neck. And resisted the urge to kiss it. Instead, he had let his heartbroken emotions flow onto her sweet skin. The salt of his sorrow following. And her slender arms had tightened about him as he clung to her and gave vent to his grief. She’d held him for several long minutes that day. Minutes neither of them forgot. Or told anyone else about.
No one had known her secret. She had never admitted it to anyone. But something had happened in her freshman year of high school that had awakened her to how attractive Seungbin was. She had shoved those feelings down. Buried them. He had still been atrocious to her then. But something in his eyes had called to her from that day forward. And those traitorous feelings were still rising in her breast that day as she embraced a brokenhearted boy under the stairs.
After a few minutes during which neither spoke, they separated, and she returned to Jin in the lunchroom. But every time she passed Seungbin after that day, their eyes connected. And she felt something indefinable warming the air between them. She was being drawn into his heart. And she didn’t know what to do about it. For she loved Jin. She did.
But two weeks passed, and she found Seungbin again. Weeping in the stairwell during lunch. This time, she flew to his side.
“What’s wrong?”
“She’s gone. My appa just called me. Eomma’s gone.”
His voice had broken. And Yura had embraced him again.
—
She’d lied to Jin. She’d told him that she’d missed school because she was sick. But she hadn’t been. She’d gone to Seungbin’s house. To be with him before the funeral. And during the funeral. He’d never really had any friends, and he didn’t invite anyone else to the funeral. But he invited her. She’d stood next to him holding his hand as he’d mourned over his mother’s casket.
Maybe she should have been surprised when he kissed her. But she hadn’t been. She’d felt that indescribable force between them pulling her near him. She’d gone to his bedroom with him after the funeral dinner. He’d been holding her hand all day long. Clinging to her for support. So she’d followed him.
He’d shut the door and turned towards her. Still holding her hand. “Thank you. For being here. With me.”
He’d drawn a shaky breath. His eyes had caressed her face. He’d smiled crookedly.
“You probably have no idea how much easier you’ve made today for me. Thank you. Thank you, Yura, for being here for me.” His eyes had continued to make love to her face.
After a few moments, he had lifted her hand to his mouth. His lips had found it. He’d begun to brush his soft lips across her skin. She’d been shocked at the tingles that had invaded her in that moment. She’d known she should pull away from him. But she’d been absolutely fascinated by his touch. By the feather light brush of his soft lips across her skin. By the tiny darts that had flown all the way down to her belly. By the desires his lightest touch had stirred in her.
She had gazed, wide-eyed, up at his handsome countenance. And begun to mentally compare him with Jin. Seungbin’s eyes weren’t as wide as Jin’s, but they were a lighter shade of brown. One that seemed to invite her to dive into them. His nose was straight and cute. His lips were full. Even fuller than Jin’s.
She had wondered what they would feel like moving across her own. She’d been shocked at her own thoughts. Ashamed of them. She’d broken her contact with him then. Yanking her hand out of his, she had turned for his door.
“No. Please,” he’d begged her in a whisper. “Stay. Please don’t leave me. Come here.”
He’d reached out for her. She’d turned back towards him. She’d felt powerless to resist that beseeching hand. She had followed it and allowed him to pull her close. She had firmly pushed all thoughts of Jin from her mind as Seungbin had lowered his head to her shoulder and begun to breathe against her neck.
His breath had begun stirring feelings inside of her too. Beautiful, aching feelings. Then, his hand had found her arm, and his gentle fingertips had begun to draw circles on her skin. But she’d discovered those fingers were lethal. They had some strange power over her. They released fire into her core. It traveled through her skin and deep down into her belly. Making her crave him.
Had she pulled away from him and run to Jin that day, perhaps all would be well now. But she hadn’t. Instead, she had turned her head to stare into his beautiful eyes. And she’d felt herself slipping away. She’d forgotten the ring on her finger in that moment.
And as Seungbin had lowered his head towards hers, she had lifted her face to welcome his sweet kiss. She hadn’t resisted when he’d deepened it a few moments later, either. Her arms had slid around his neck as she submitted to his touch. And his taste. A flame had sprung up in the center of her belly, its warmth flooding her whole body with an incandescent joy.
What was happening to her?
—
Seungbin had found her alone at school two weeks later. And backed her into a corner. As she had stared up into his handsome face, her heart had been exploding in her chest. She’d always been afraid of him. But she wasn’t now. Not anymore.
So she hadn’t flinched as he’d lifted his hand to her cheek. Even so, his touch had been surprisingly gentle. So had his voice.
“You’re so beautiful. Have you any idea how much I regret mistreating you when we were young?” he’d whispered the words as he gazed deeply into her eyes.
Stunned, she could find only one word to question him. “What?”
His fingers had continued to stroke her cheek. Softly. Sweetly.
“I’m sorry I bullied you. I – I always liked you, but I didn’t know how to tell you. And then, you clung to Jin like he was your hero. It made me so mad. Because I wanted you. But he had you. He still has you.” He’d bent his head and breathed into her ear, “I hope he knows how good he has it.”
His breath had slipped over her skin, driving her wild. She’d shivered. Her eyes had widened in alarm at the feelings his slightest touch created in her. His voice did the same thing. His words had invaded her soul, sinking deep into her to pull her towards him.
His fingers had continued to slip over her skin. Releasing a flurry of tingles that she’d tried valiantly to deny. But as she’d gazed into his dark eyes, she found herself falling in.
Then he’d grabbed her hand and tugged her towards that empty stairwell. She’d followed him willingly enough, glancing back to see if anyone was watching them. Or even aware of them. But the halls were empty. Everyone was at lunch. Jin was busy getting help from a teacher today. He wouldn’t be looking for Yura until later.
So she and Seungbin had hidden themselves under that staircase. He’d gazed down into her eyes for a few moments before his head descended, and his lips had claimed hers in a hot kiss. His mouth had grown ravenous on hers. But she hadn’t cared. She’d opened it to him.
And begun her journey towards giving him all of her. Jin’s love had always been cold to the touch compared to this passionate boy. Seungbin lit fires in her that Jin didn’t even know existed. She knew it was wrong. On so many levels. But she chose not to pay attention to the warnings. She opened her heart to Seungbin. As she had opened her mouth to his kiss.
—
After that, she had stolen time to be with him almost every day. Giving Jin the lamest excuses. Which he had always believed. The guilt had begun to eat away at her. But she hadn’t known how to break her best friend’s heart. How to let him down gently. For she was falling in love with a broken boy. With Seungbin. She could feel it. The tides of his affection for her were pulling her under. She felt powerless to contain it.
I mean, I can understand falling out of love with someone as well as falling in love with someone else at the same time. What is making me angry is that she let them both hanging in the middle space and that her own unwillingness to face her feelings and reality hurt them all the more.