He just smiled. “I feel like investigating this park with you today. Where should we start, do you think?”
“Kookie, we need to head back to the city. You can’t be late. You have a concert tonight. You can’t let the guys down. You can’t let your fans down.”
He looked me square in the eye. “Grace, you’re the one. I can’t let you down.”
I gasped, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Those butterflies had formed themselves into a tornado and they were flying mercilessly in circles, releasing wave after wave of nausea. Some of them seemed to be climbing up my throat, threatening to burst onto the scene at any moment.
I felt like crying and laughing at once. This man was so precious! This man was so infuriating! And it appeared his will was as strong as mine.
I looked around. We had walked at least half a mile into the park. We were approaching a fork in the path. To our right was a stream. I could see it through the trees. There was a bit of a clearing right here. Boulders lined the two sides of the stream. Breathtakingly orange leaves painted the rocks with a fiery brightness, stunning heralds of autumn. Like some brilliant lichen had attached itself to the flat surface of the boulders. The stream tripped over smaller rocks and spilled itself around large boulders. Its water flowed past like a foamy veil, blanketing the rocks with alternating transparency and obscuring clouds of white froth.
Orange leaves littered the ground around us too. They had piled up under every tree, covering the landscape with burning glory. Golden light streamed through the trees, gracing us with a taste of heaven’s splendor. Watching the stream, surrounded by such beauty, I felt so calm suddenly.
I left the beaten path to wander through the trees towards the stream. I sat down on a rock. “I’m not going anywhere, Kookie. Not anywhere. Except back to your car. I’m not a daredevil like you. You’ll get so bored of me so fast. Then you’ll realize you sacrificed everything for me today for no reason.”
He startled me then. He threw back his beautiful, raven head, and he barked with laughter. The Kookie that I loved had suddenly returned, his joy rematerializing before me in an instant.
“I don’t care whether or not you’re adventurous. I’m surrounded by people who I dearly love who hate to take risks. That doesn’t bother me at all.”
He paused to close his eyes and dramatically breathe in the fresh air while he threw his arms out and spun around in a circle. “Can you smell that, Grace? It’s the smell of autumn. It’s the promise that winter is coming. I love that scent.”
Then he opened his eyes and grinned at me. He walked towards me. “I bet if we spent this whole season together, at some point your hair would smell delightful, like woodsmoke after a bonfire. I would breathe it in and feel comforted.” Then he reached for me, towing me up from my rock-hard seat, slid his arms around me, drawing me to his chest, before pulling back my hood and burying his nose in my hair. He inhaled.
“You smell like apples, Grace. Another of my favorite autumn scents.” More hair sniffing. Not that I minded.
I finally gave in and settled my ear over his heart. Its steady beat was almost enough to lull me to sleep. I hadn’t slept all that much last night.
He held me in his arms for a long time. I knew there was nowhere he’d rather be. Silently, we clung to each other as the sky turned a brilliant, clear blue, all traces of the sunrise fading away. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest, the fabric of his hoodie cushioning my cheek. I inhaled deeply. He smelled so good. I felt so comforted. His arms tightened around me. I felt safe. Surrounded. Cherished.
I knew time was ticking away. I knew I had to convince him to return to the city. But I didn’t want to. These were golden moments. They belonged only to me and Kookie. I didn’t want them to ever end.
I could feel my love for him growing. Expanding to fill my whole heart and all my soul with a terrifying ecstasy. A certain knowledge that I had begun to run along a new path, having shut a door behind me. And that door would forever be barred to me now. There was no turning back. I would never be the same. For it had finally happened…
I had given my heart away.
