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Jin looked down at Tae.  The small boy was happily sucking on his pacifier as he watched Pororo with his brothers.  Jin sighed.  He’d been told at the boys’ last doctor’s appointment that he needed to get the twins to stop using them.  Which made sense.  They were three and a half now.  Most kids didn’t use one past the age of two.  Thankfully, Jimin had already mostly stopped using his with the claim that he was a big boy now and didn’t need it.

But Tae was a different story.  He always had his pacifier.  It was like another part of him.  So Jin was not looking forward to making him part with it.  But he knew he had to.  The twins weren’t starting preschool until next year, so they had time.  But it was definitely time for the pacifiers to go.

Jin probably would’ve stopped the twins from using them sooner.  But he knew it was comforting to them.  And after their mom had left, they needed more comfort than other kids.

That night as he tucked the twins into bed, he took both of their pacifiers.  Jimin didn’t react much.  But Tae was not having it.  At first, he just pouted, starting to cry a bit.  He looked up at Jin with his big puppy eyes and softly asked,

“Please have paci, Appa?”

Jin almost gave in.  But he knew if he were going to get Tae to stop using it, he’d have to be strong.

“Not tonight, Tae-Tae.  You need to stop using it.  It’s not good for you.”

That’s when the real waterworks started.  Tae burst into tears when Jin told him that.  Jin was really hoping Tae would fall asleep soon and not keep his brothers up.  He was shaking with sobs at Jin laid him down and tucked him it.  He kissed Tae’s forehead softly.

“It’s ok, baby.  You’ll be ok without it.”

Half an hour later as Jin sat on the couch, he wasn’t so sure.  He could still hear Tae’s soft cries.  He tried to ignore them, but every cry he heard hurt his heart.  He felt bad for having to take Tae’s pacifier, but he thought he should at least try this before moving on to something else.

Finally, Tae’s cries silenced nearly an hour after Jin had put him in bed.  Jin peeked into the boys’ room.  All three of his boys were asleep now.  He was surprised that Jimin and Kookie had been able to fall asleep with Tae crying so loudly.

He crept over to the bed.  Tae was sniffling quietly but was nonetheless asleep.  Jin was sure he would never try this again.  Not if he had to listen to Tae wail like that every night.

——————–

The next morning, Tae waddled out of bed last.  Kookie and Jimin were already playing in the living room when Tae came out hugging his blanket.  The first thing he did was climb up onto Jin’s lap.  Jin had been writing, so he set his computer aside and let the small boy climb up where his laptop had been sitting.

“Appa…can have paci please?” Tae pouted, on the verge of tears.

Jin smiled.  He knew Tae would ask as soon as he woke up. “All right.” He pulled it out and slipped it into the small boy’s mouth.  Tae instantly grinned and started sucking on it before throwing himself at Jin’s chest.

“Tank you, Appa!”

Jin smiles and wrapped his arms around Tae.  He’d have to come up with a different tactic to wean Tae.  He was not going to be able to handle little pouty puppy-eyed Tae every morning.  It hurt to see his baby so upset.  So instead he let Tae lay in his arms for a little while.  The next time he looked down, Tae was fast asleep.  The small boy probably hadn’t slept very well last night.

That thought made Jin feel really bad for not letting Tae have his pacifier.  And he was decided that he wouldn’t use that method again.  He knew Tae had been upset, but Jin thought once he’d fallen asleep, he’d be ok.  Clearly, he had been wrong.

——————–

That afternoon, Jin decided to try again.  He decided to take the pacifier while the boys were watching Pororo.  Once again, Tae’s eyes were glossy as he pouted up at Jin.

“Nooo…want paci, Appa.”

“You can have it back later, ok?  You’re gonna watch Pororo with Minnie and Kookie and have fun, ok?  You don’t need your paci right now.”

Tae sniffled but nodded. “Ok…”

Thankfully, a few minutes later he was happily eating his snacks while watching the TV with his brothers.  Jin sighed a sigh of relief.  He didn’t want to wrestle Tae over this.

Half an hour later when the boys were all peacefully asleep on the couch, Jin was starting to have more confidence in his plan.  Maybe he should just keep this up for a little while.

——————–

For the next few days, Jin kept up taking Tae’s pacifier only during the hour before nap time when the boys watched TV.  He could tell Tae was getting used to it now, so that weekend he decided to up the anti a little.  They were going to the water park today.  Jin decided Tae could spend the day without his pacifier.  They’d be gone for at least 3 hours today since they were going out to lunch afterwards, and then they were heading to Jin’s dad’s house for a little while.  It was plenty of distraction for Tae to forget that he was missing his pacifier.

Jin took it away during breakfast.  Tae wandered around the house pouting for a few minutes before he got distracted watching his older brothers play on their Xbox.  But no tears this time, thankfully.

Jin had read that it was a good tactic to give them something else to comfort them when they didn’t have their pacifier, so he let Tae waddle around with his blanket for most of the morning.

Soon enough it was time to leave for the water park, and Jin rejoiced that they had survived the morning.  He thought they were in the clear until he was buckling the boys into their car seats.

“Appa, want paci,” Tae whined.

“You don’t need it right now, baby.  We’re gonna go play at the water park.”

Tae pouted. “Ok…”

When they arrived at the water park ten minutes later, Tae forgot about missing his pacifier.  He played happily with his four brothers for over an hour.  After that, they went out for lunch and Jin decided the younger boys needed a nap before they headed to Yoongi’s house.

Tae ended up lasting the whole day without his pacifier.  That was, up until an hour before bedtime after they got home.  He was sitting on the floor hugging his blanket and crying when Jin walked out of his room.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Jin asked as he squatted down next to Tae.

“Want-want paci…” Tae cried softly.

“All right, I’ll go get it, ok?”

“Ok…”

——————–

It was about two weeks later when they hit a roadblock.  They’d been doing so well.  Until today.

Two days prior, Tae and Kookie had both started sniffling.  Jin had thought it might be allergies; allergy season was unpredictable.  But this morning Kookie had woken up with a slight fever and Tae was sneezing every five minutes.

For some reason Jimin was perfectly fine.  He was happily playing with his blocks and stuffed animals on the floor.  But Tae was whining from where he was cuddled up on the couch, and Kookie was half asleep in Jin’s recliner.  There was no way Jin would be able to take Tae’s pacifier without him throwing a huge fit.  And honestly Jin didn’t even have the energy to try.

Jin ended up spending most of the time he was making the soup with Tae cuddled into his shoulder as he walked around the kitchen.  This was why he had two arms, right?

Jin wasn’t quite sure why Tae wanted his pacifier today.  The boy could barely breath with it in his mouth.  Whenever he slept it would fall out of his mouth as he snored.  But every time he woke up, he’d whine until it was back in his mouth.  Jin was hoping this wouldn’t stunt their progress.  He didn’t want the past three weeks to go to waste.

Sadly, it did.  Before that day, Jin had gotten Tae down to only using it at night without complaints.  But they day after the two youngest boys had fully recovered, Tae was whining when Jin tried to take his pacifier away that morning.

“Nooo, want paci,” Tae pouted as Jin took it away from him at breakfast.

“No, Tae-Tae.  You don’t need it.  Remember how well you were doing last week?”

Tae was starting to cry. “Want paci…” he whimpered.

“You can have it tonight, ok?”

Tae burst into tears, surprising the other two boys at the table.

“Is ok, Tae-Tae,” Kookie said softly. “No cry.” He held out a piece of his banana to Tae. “Want nana?” 

Tae sniffled as he accepted the bite of banana and chewed on it.  Kookie giggled and continued eating.

“Want paci…” Tae mumbled.

“Tae-Tae big boy!  Tae-Tae no need paci.” Kookie exclaimed around his bite of banana.

“Yeah!  Me and Kookie don’t have paci anymore!  You be ok, Tae-Tae.” Jimin butted in.

Tae sniffled and took another bite of his waffle as he kept crying. “Don’t wanna be big boy…”

Jin sighed and sat down, pulling Tae into his lap. “Tae, look at me.”

Tae looked up, tears still streaming down his face.

“You don’t have to be a big boy right now, baby.  It’s ok.” Jin wiped Tae’s tears away. “You just need to stop using your pacifier.  It’s not good for you.”

“Ok…” Tae mumbled before burying his face in Jin’s shirt.

“Do you think you can spend today without it?”

Tae sniffled and nodded.  And he did.  He managed to make it through the rest of the day without it.

That night as Jin got the boys ready for bed, he decided he wouldn’t offer Tae his pacifier, just to see if he’d ask for it.  He tucked Kookie into his bed and then tucked the twins in.

“Appa…” Tae started in a tiny voice.

“Yes, baby?  What is it?”

“Can…can have paci?”

Jin smiled gently and nodded. “Let me go get it, ok?  Can you lay down?  I’ll be right back.”

But once Jin had closed the boys’ door, he decided to clean the kitchen before he returned to the boys’ room.  He hoped Tae would fall asleep before then.

About twenty minutes later, when the kitchen was sparkling clean, Jin snuck back into their room.  He was pleased to find all the boys sound asleep with no sign of tears.  Hopefully, this would be the end of Tae’s pacifier.